


somewhere only we know

by lildouglas



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Death, F/M, GET OUT OF HERE IF U HAVENT SEEN IT, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Team as Family, The Avengers Need a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, endgame spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-04 12:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18604441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lildouglas/pseuds/lildouglas
Summary: AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILERS!!!!!!! DON'T READ IF HAVEN'T SEEN YET!!!!!!The aftermath of the end.An epilogue, of sorts. A chance for healing.Basically, the Avengers find comfort in each other to make it through.





	1. Chapter 1

“Happy,” Morgan whined, tugging at his coat. “I’m  _ hungry. _ ” 

 

The service had ended hours ago, but no one had the nerve to leave yet. The Stark-Potts household was full of reminiscing and soft, wry smiles. 

 

Happy had to smile. “Anything you want.” She grinned, and Happy rolled his eyes. “Let me guess… Hamburgers, again?” Her widening smile was all Happy needed to see. He left to go pick food from the store, and she watched him drive off. 

 

After a few moments, Morgan slid off of the bench and creaked open the door. Inside, she instantly spotted her mother, who was shaking the hand of someone she didn’t recognize. 

 

“I never thanked you enough for saving him.” 

 

The blonde woman across from her wore a blank expression. Morgan pressed herself against a pillar to where neither could see her. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I should’ve been the one to do it--” 

 

“No,” she said, interrupting her instantly. “No. We don’t blame ourselves for this. That was Tony’s specialty.” Pepper manages a laugh, but the woman doesn’t break her blank stare. “Carol, thank you for everything you’ve done.” 

 

“Anything, you name it. Is there anything else I can do?” Pepper was already shaking her head no, but she didn’t miss the way she tensed, as if pondering whether or not to speak. “I can do it; let me help. What’s wrong?” 

 

“Well, it’s… It’s just, uh…” 

 

“What’re you doing?” Morgan didn’t have time to react before hands grabbed her at her sides and lifted her into the air. Morgan kicked and turned to see Steve, a familiar face. “Eavesdropping already?” 

 

Pepper paled, grabbing her face. “Oh, Morgan,” she started to sigh, but Steve was already carrying away. Carol put a hand on her shoulder. Pepper stared after him, and he gave a gesture, beckoning her to go. She sighed and let Carol guide her into a private room. 

 

“Look at this spy I caught,” Steve announced, holding her up upon entry. The Avengers were seated around Tony’s cramped living room. 

 

After the funeral, they just… stayed. Most left, including Wanda, May, Harley, Lang, Hope, etc.. The ones who remained were recovering slowly. They had all lost so much, gained so much, and then this. Tony. No one really knew what to do, so they found comfort in each other. 

 

The funeral had ended long ago, but they remained in this house. They relished in each other’s comfort, trying to catch up on five years of mourning. 

 

Despite the loss, they were… happy. Things were good. Things were happy. 

 

Steve sat Morgan down, who instantly ran to Rhodey. “Guess what?” She knocked him so hard he stumbled. “Happy’s gonna make hamburgers.” Then, she stage whispered, “They’re my favorite.” 

 

“Are they now? I didn’t know…” he mused, grinning.

 

“I’m tired,” she said suddenly. She blinked a few times before grabbing ahold of his leg. “Where’s mommy?” 

 

“She’s resting,” Steve said quickly. She pouted and made a point to protest, but Steve cut her off. “How about Rhodey puts you to bed, and I’ll wake you when the food’s ready.” She seemed hesitant, but she finally nodded. Rhodey gently held her hand and led the exhausted child up to her bedroom. He’d then tell her a story and he’d sit there until she fell asleep. 

 

After he left, Steve cleared his throat and gathered the attention of everyone in the room. “Has anyone talked to Peter?” 

 

They were all going through the same loss. Pepper lost her husband, Morgan lost her father, the Avengers lost a brother, a best friend. They were used to the loss, and they adjusted. They made peace with it. 

 

Peter? Peter spiraled. After he was gone, truly gone, he lost it. Pepper had it more together compared to him, or at least that’s how she appeared. Now, she was probably crying her heart out in private where her daughter can’t see. Peter, though, he lost it, and he didn’t stop. He beat at the ground, and he was met with people he had never known before. They were there, though, reaching out to him, and he pushed them away. 

 

“No one’s seen him since the service,” Bruce confessed at last. “He- he slipped out.” 

 

“Give him time,” Gamora said from her place on the couch with her head rested on Quill’s shoulder. “He needs it.” 

 

“I could never get through this alone,” Steve confessed, and Bucky placed a comforting hand on his back. “None of us could.” He leaned into the heat. 

 

“Let’s go look,” Bucky said gently. 

 

May had left long ago, but Peter hadn’t gone with her. He had sat in the pews, but when it was his turn to peer into the casket, he had to go. And he didn’t stop. 

 

Bucky roamed the hallways, careful not to wake or disturb any of the mourning family members. After an unsuccessful scan, he met Steve on the porch. “Maybe he left,” he said. “He’ll be okay. He has that aunt of his.” Steve didn’t reply. 

 

“That kid,” he seethed, “meant the world to him.” 

 

And he did. He truly did. 

 

To put their relationship in words would be a hard task. They had both gone through so much in their years of living, which is saying a lot as Peter has only lived for sixteen years now. He’s gone through so much, and now this? The loss of his role model, his mentor, and dare he say, father? 

 

Morgan had her mother to cling to, but Peter was rebelling. He was distancing himself. 

 

Just how Tony copes, and he just wasn’t having it. 

 

Steve ended up letting him go and returned to the living room and tried not too hard to think about it. 

 

Happy returned to make food, but and Morgan woke up, ate, then fell asleep in her mother’s arms. Pepper’s face was pale as she held her daughter close. 

 

The others slept over. One could call it overstaying a welcome, but they knew Pepper didn’t mind. Right now, they all needed that. 

 

Of course, the majority of the Avengers struggle with PTSD, and sleep does not come easy to the most of them. 

 

Steve, for one, found himself awake and wandering around. He made his way through the garage to the backyard. 

 

At first, he thought he was dead. 

 

Peter, slumped against a tree, stared off into the distance. His face was completely blank. “Peter,” he called, “I’ve been looking for you.” If he was able to hear him, he didn’t show it. He just stared off into nothing. “You should come inside. You’ll get sick out here.” Steve had only been out here for a few moments and he was already shivering from the cold. Peter couldn’t bring himself to speak. He still hadn’t managed to recognize his existence. “Come on, kid--” 

 

Peter tore his eyes away to look at him. “Don’t call me that,” he spat, and Steve cringed at the darkness that made its way into his voice. “Not… Not that. Don’t you dare.” 

 

“Peter, just come inside.” 

 

“I can’t.” He turned his head away. “The air in there is toxic.” 

 

“It doesn’t have to be,” Steve said. “Sit with us. Hurt with us. Anything is better than this, you know that. You’ve got to.” 

 

“I don’t… I…” Peter shook his head. “I’m…” Steve was patient as he tried to get his thoughts together. “It…” 

 

“It’s going to be okay,” Steve assured him. “We’re going to be okay. He’s in a better place now.” 

 

“No! Don’t--!” Peter yelled, holding his ears. His expression went from blank to a pained grimace in a matter of seconds. He pulled his knees to his chest. “Don’t you fucking say that! Better place? He should be here with me!” 

 

And there it was. 

 

This child continued to surprise Steve every moment. He’s so strong, so powerful, but over that, a child. A child who has been abandoned. Of course he wouldn’t understand. 

 

“Peter,” he said, reaching to engulf him in a hug, but he pushed him away. 

 

“I want him back!” he demanded, clenching his fist. “It’s not-- It’s not fair! I want him back.” A single, hot tear streamed down his face. “He promised he wouldn’t leave.” The rest of the tears started to fall, and his voice quieted. 

 

His yelling had already done the damage. In the other room, the others had already woken up. They all pretended not to be listening, but they all were. 

 

“Peter,” he said again. “He’s gone.” 

 

Peter looked away. He was silent, and Steve thought he had gone blank again, but then the first gasp leaked from his chapped lips. Peter’s body began to shiver even more than before. 

 

And when Steve tugged him closer, he didn’t protest. “It hurts,” he cried, sobbing into his chest. “I miss him so much. I want him back.” Steve rubbed circles into his back to do his best to console him. “He, he, he said he wouldn’t! Why do they all go? Why? I thought, out of them all, he’d be the one bastard to stay! I didn’t want him to die; I didn’t want him to go.” 

 

Peter brokenly sobbed in Steve’s arms. “Me neither, kid.” 

 

Peter had cried himself to the point of exhaustion. 

 

After that, he had to carry him into the living room full of stirred awake Avengers. As soon as he started to set him down, the distraught boy’s hands grabbed ahold of him. “I’m so sorry…”


	2. an end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> come to terms

In the morning, they rose early. Peter, completely spent, lay sprawled out on a sleeping bag. He slowly sat up and rubbed at his eyes. “Steve?” he called out, but it was a vacant room. 

 

He took a scan of all the empty spots and rose to his feet. When he wandered into the kitchen, he spotted Morgan, sitting alone at the kitchen table. She kicked her legs wildly as she put spoonfuls of cereal in her mouth. 

 

The floorboard creaked underneath Peter’s feet. “Oh, Petey!” She cheered, dropping her spoon. “You’re awake. Wanna go play?” 

 

Peter barely found the strength to reply. She put her bowl in the sink, grabbed his hand, and ran outside. “Where’s everyone?” 

 

“Hm, I’m not sure,” she said, tilting her head. “Mommy’s in her room.” 

 

The girl had never met Peter before, but that doesn’t stop her from tugging him to sitting with her on a bench outside. She slipped inside her tent to retrieve a soccer ball, which she threw at Peter’s face. He caught it immediately. 

 

“Kick it!” She said, grinning. She ran back to give him some room. He stood up and got ready to kick the ball, ended up sending it flying into the water. She scrunched her face. “Really?” 

 

“Whoops,” he grumbled. “I’ll go get it.” 

 

Peter ran to the edge of the water and reached for the soccer ball. Peter had… a bad experience with water. With a groan, he leaned forward as far as he could, but the wind blew it at the last second as his fingers just brushed it. He fell face forward into the open water. 

 

It wasn’t like last time. He could stand up in this water. Still, as soon as he stood back up, he inhaled wildly. He fell back on the bay. “Hey, are you okay?” Morgan asked, kneeling by him. “Just breathe. In for 6, hold 5, release 8.”

 

Peter smiled. “You’re good at that,” he said. 

 

“My dad had anxiety,” she replied, shrugging. Peter knew that. 

 

“I don’t,” he said, and Morgan raised an eyebrow. The soccer ball continued to float away. “Sorry I didn’t grab your ball.” 

 

“It’s okay,” she said. “You smell bad.” She pinched her nose. 

 

“I guess I should change, huh? I’ll be right back,” he said. He headed back towards the house when he heard the tiny footsteps following. Guess she didn’t want to be alone either. 

 

As he approached the house, he spotted the others a few feet away. “Hey, Bruce!” he greeted, running towards them. “Have you seen Steve this morning?” 

 

Bruce’s solemn face turned to him. “Oh, Peter—“ 

 

And then there he was, an old, shriveled man. Peter’s heart began to pound in his chest, and he couldn’t breathe. “Is that…?” 

 

“Peter,” Steve said softly. Peter shook his head and stepped back. 

 

“Not you too,” he spat, inching back. 

 

Steve reached out to him, but Peter was already gone. 

 

Panting, he pressed his back against the door. Morgan met him with a change of clothes. “Peter, are you okay?” 

 

“...” Peter couldn’t find words to say. Morgan sunk down to sit down next to him on the porch. She rested her head on his shoulder. 

 

“Me too,” she confessed softly. “I miss my dad.” Peter’s chest tightened. His breathing quickened. Morgan raised her head off of him and brought her knees close to her chest. Bored, she set her chin down on her crossed elbows. “Everyone here is treating me weird. I miss Dad; he’d never treat me like this.” 

 

“I know what you mean.” 

 

Morgan snorted in disbelief. “Yeah, right. You’re an adult.” 

 

Peter smiled. “Just barely, Morgan.” His smile faded. “After my parents died, people talked to me like I was a loose canon.” 

 

“You lost your parents?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. 

 

“Yeah, I did. When I was your age, too,” he replied. 

 

“How’d you… How’d you get past that?” 

 

Peter brushed the hair out of his face. “I had an aunt and an uncle who did everything for me. After I lost him, Aunt May did everything she could… Of course, Mr. Stark helped me so much after the Germany ordeal.” 

 

“Stay here with me,” she said, grabbing him with her small hands. “Please?” Peter laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Please stay here with us. You can be my big brother.” 

 

Peter smiled, looking at her fondly. He picked up the child and held her in his lap. “Oh, Morgan, you’re going to be just fine,” he said, ruffling her hair. “You have so many people who care about you, you know that? You’re the luckiest girl in the world.” 

 

“Dad talked about you a lot,” she said. “He, he missed you so much. I think he would’ve liked it? If you were to stay.” 

 

“I promise I’ll stay in touch,” he said, holding out his pinky. “I have my Aunt.” 

 

“She can come live here too.” 

 

“Mr. Stark said the same thing to me too a couple years back.” To him, he didn’t have the five years of being dead. He should’ve been twenty by now. “You’re just like him.” His heart panged, suddenly. 

 

_ “I just wanted to be like you.”  _

 

_ “And I want you to be better.”  _

 

“He told me stories about you sometimes. Like, like, the Science Fair!” A grin broke out across her face. “He told me that you guys made, a, a, what was it? Oh, I don’t know, but something super science-y.” She had to hold herself from laughter. “And you lost to a paper volcano.” She laughed so hard it sounded as if she was crying. 

 

For Peter, though, the memory was still painful. “I really deserved that medal,” he said, grimacing. 

 

“A paper volcano,” she repeated, wiping a laughter tear off of her cheek. “I can’t believe you lost.” 

 

“Of all the things he said, that’s what he told you about?” 

 

“Mhm, no. He told me a lot of things. And, well, he had a…” She cupped her hand to whisper in his ear. “I’m not supposed to know, and you can’t tell anyone, but he had a diary. He talked in it, a lot, about you.” 

 

“Good things?” 

 

“Not always,” she said. “He got upset sometimes, I think, when we brought him up. He missed you a lot. Sometimes, well, he’d have bad days. On the bad days he’d listen to some voicemail, from you, but I don’t know why. All you did was talk about some churro lady.” 

 

“Really?” She nodded. “That’s… Wow.” 

 

“I guess my dad is pretty amazing,” she said. “I want to see him.” 

 

“I know,” he said gently. “I do too.” 

 

On the otherside of the door, Pepper had to keep a hand clasped over her mouth to keep from crying outloud. She inhaled deeply before creaking open the door, which Peter and Morgan were relying on. He fell back, Morgan still on him. “Ow.” 

 

“Sorry,” she apologized. She picked up Morgan and held her hand out to Peter. He took it and let her help him to his feet. Peter raised an eyebrow at her puffy face. 

 

“Who’s the ear-dropper now?” she exclaimed. 

 

“Eavesdropper,” Peter corrected. 

 

“I’m not, actually,” Pepper defended. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She pushed her hair out of her face. “Actually, I think Bucky was looking for you. I don’t know what it was about…” 

 

“Oh, thanks,” Peter said, not really grateful. He figured as much. 

 

“I’m gonna fix up some lunch. How’s that sound?” She adjusted the girl on her hip. “Huh?” 

 

“Mommy’s gonna burn the house down,” she mumbled, letting her mom take her into the kitchen. 

 

Peter anxiously peered out the door. Maybe he could sneak home, and no one would notice. He slipped his backpack on. He still smelled like garbage, but he had to get out of here — away from these people. 

 

He didn’t manage to get very far. 

 

He booked it, then, feeling apologetic toward the Stark family, but his little legs didn’t stop pumping. 

 

Before he could reach the road, Sam caught him. “Oh, no, you don’t,” he said, in suit. Peter elbowed him in the ribs. “Come on, Peter. Let’s talk.” 

 

“Let me go,” he whined, but Sam didn’t loosen his grip until he arrived at the bench with Steve and Bucky. He couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes. 

 

“Peter,” he said gently, but he looked away. “You’re going to be okay.” 

 

“Don’t,” he growled. “I can’t believe you.” 

 

He knew it was childish. He knew it. He cried anyways. 

 

Peter cried again, he’s lost count at this point. He started crying so hard he fell into Sam’s arms, which were cold from his suit. “Everyone leaves,” he cried. “I don’t know why I thought you’d be any different from the rest.” 

 

“Oh, Peter, nothing is forever,” Sam said, and it wasn’t really comforting. “All good things come to an end.” 

 

“I don’t want it to,” he said, furiously wiping at his face. 

 

“He’s happy, Peter,” Bucky said, smiling wryly. “Look how happy he is.” Steve, indeed, did have an air to him. 

 

“I-I know,” he said, burying his face in Sam’s chest, “I miss my dad.” 

 

“I know that must’ve been rough on you as a child,” Steve purred, speaking up. 

 

Offended, Peter ripped his head up. “What? No,” he said, shaking his head. “That’s not—“ 

 

“I know,” Sam said, knowingly. “I know.” He wrapped him in an even tighter hug. “Let’s go home, Peter.” 

 

“Home?” he echoed. “There’s no home without him.” 

 

“The world still needs Avengers, don’t they?” Sam asked. “We’re gonna need you, Pete.” 

 

His eyes widened. “That means you, Peter. You’re gonna be our brains.” 

 

_ A month later  _

 

Peter rose in the morning. “Oh, shit, school!” he cried, running out of his room. “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late—“ 

 

“Peter, don’t you dare leave without food,” Sam called, holding up a packed bag. 

 

“Thanks, mom,” Peter laughed, taking the bag. 

 

“You’re already as skinny as it is,” Bucky noted, eyeing him. Self conscious, Peter covered up his clothed body. “You could learn a lot from Thor.” 

 

Peter snorted. “Yeah, okay,” he said, but Bucky hadn’t been kidding. 

 

“Hey, uh, don’t you have school?” 

 

“Oh, oh, you’re right—“ 

 

Friday started to speak suddenly, stopping him. “There’s an unidentified object spiraling towards New York. Landing expected in two minutes.” 

 

“Oh, no,” Peter said with a shrug. “Guess school can wait?” 

 

Sam rolled his eyes, but the new Captain America was already suiting up. “Avengers, assemble.” 

 

Life had never been the same after he lost May. Things got better, then they got worse. So, so much worse. Now, things are getting better again. It made him nervous. 

 

After the fight, a nice lady handed him flowers as a thank you for saving them. He accepted them graciously. “Those are gorgeous,” Bruce said, one of the other Avengers who actively lived in the compound. The other Avengers lived off call in their own homes. 

 

“I know just the place,” Peter said. 

 

They went to the graves together. Tony, Steve, Natasha. True heroes. Their graves were never empty. 

 

Compared to the piles of flowers and the constantly lit candles, his small bouquet was nothing. Still, he lay a single rose on top of each grave. 

 

Bucky lay a hand on his shoulder, and that was as much comfort as he needed. 

 

Peter smiled. “Let’s go home.” 

 

“Hey, spandex, you have school,” Bucky pointed out. 

 

“You’re not that slick,” he said to Peter, who in turn groaned. “Hey, but after, you have that parent teacher conference, don’t you?” 

 

“Right,” Peter said, hesitant. “How’d you know?” 

 

“We’ll be there at 5:15,” Bucky said, walking to their soccer mom van. 

 

“Uh, we?” Peter paled. 

 

“Yeah,” Sam said in a “duh” voice. “Me, Bucky, Bruce will be late, oh and Scarlet’s gonna be finishing her senior year with you so she’s coming too, actually, so Rhodey’s gonna come with her.” 

 

“Peter? Peter? Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Sam cooed. 

 

“Oh,” he sighed, wiping his face. He was grinning wildly. “I’m just so happy.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel better :)) 
> 
> Check out some of my other fics if u want!!!!!!!!’ Ty all who read and reviewed :)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry if this is shit but like i just saw endgame six hours ago and i needed something to vent bc im so,,,,, my heart hurts so bad and nothing couldve prepared me for this please help
> 
>  
> 
> im probably going to continue this bc tbh it hurts so bad but idk loll if anyone even wants this so uhhhh if u liked comment or kudos 
> 
> thanks yall


End file.
